June 18, 2009

  • Genocidal Irony

    How do I proceed from here?

    There is an impending invasion.. and I have few to no more resources to mount resistance.

    Once again, I am rewarded for trust with vehement betrayals across my circle.. and for giving unconditional love with an irony driven demise of that bond. This was only last night.. and until just now, I thought it was possible to escape being hurt.

    Once again, not so simple. Even if I wanted to wage a fight of principal this time, though, I couldn't. I wouldn't if I could.

    I have conditioned myself to believe that cynicism is my enemy. That pessimism is what slows me down. These are things that I've been told, at least.

    I now know like I've always believed, though, that it's been irony and circumstance who, together, have always had me out-maned and out-gunned.

    Both legs have been cut out from under me. The.. questions I have in my head are... how I continue to put up a fight, in this condition... and even if I were capable of it... what do I fight for, next?

    I am the king of bouncing back. The mother of all hard-to-kill bastards. The ayatollah of vengeful resurgence.
    The dials in my head are turning, conceivably to point me in new directions and outline a new set of objectives.

    I just don't see where I'm going with it anymore, for the unshakable sense that no matter what I do or where I am.. I will fall back to this same Earth.

    Edit:

    .run { shutdwn
    }
    .run { restrt
    .del { hist_2009
    }
        .run { SpartanV.exe

              .load { S5objective_list
    }
        .setOS { SpartanV.exe

    Let's do it.

    Edit: Where there is a will there is a way.