May 8, 2009

  • The Final Wars

    So. I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy. Dunno if that's obvious or not.

    So, let's backtrack a few months :D . I've been in two relationships.. one very short, one relatively long, but neither worked out. Actually.. the second isn't over, even though it is.

    The problem with both is that the women involved are cheaters :D . The good news is it doesn't hurt me anymore so much as it disappoints me often. It could be because my heart is one of igneous rock now, or it could be that I've grown up/out from unconditional attachments. Either way, I'm mostly unscathed.

    Why is the latest deal not done, you ask? It hasn't been that simple and for whatever reason I was initially able to get past it. Now I'm not so much, having realized that it's only aggravated my trust issues. This leaves me with an unkind decision that I've now to make. I am not used to deliberately hurting people and I haven't found a way I'm comfortable with. It'll come, though :D .

    It's also not done because I've been busy. As I might've mentioned a few times, my home is under threat of invasion. My M.O. has been to get the F out, just like I've already done once.. only not under as urgent circumstances and much better armed. To put it simply, I'm fleeing. Obviously to an undisclosed location.
    I need space and opportunity to dig in and start over. Because of what's coming here, I feel the time is now.

    Because of these particular invaders.. I exaggerate none when I say all life will cease to exist in this house, after. God have mercy on the rest, but I don't intend to endure another x years of it. Not when I'm perfectly capable of avoiding it along with changing my circumstances.

    I've done lots of asking around and reflecting.. just to make sure this is absolutely necessary.. and the consensus seems to be that I am in the right.. and the general idea within myself is that.. I have an entire lifetime still ahead of me.. and so the time is most definitely now to take back my streets and get busy living.

    This is a war that, for 5 long years, has taken me up down, across states across rivers and timezones. To hell, heaven and back. Now it's time for that to end.

    So for the last few months I've put all energy, resources and what I can gather of cooperation into the next and last rocket powered big adventure. In a few days, I execute.

    And when it's over. I'll work on the repaying of the various debts, large and small, that I have incurred in wartime and of which I've not gone unmindful, and then get back to conquering life... one day, one degree, one aspiration and achievement at a time.. as I was on the way to doing before.

    I've wanted to travel some more, since returning from my.. visit.. to the east coast, anyway. There is, indeed, no better time than now.

    It definitely promises to be a big adventure. :D .